Saturday, February 5, 2011

Common Courtesy

I never cease to be amazed at how so many people lack good manners and common courtesy.  Did their mother's not teach them better?  I know that my mother tried to do her best - use good manners at the dinner table, chew with your mouth closed, keep your elbows off the table, say "yes, please", "no thank you", write thank you notes for gifts and acts of kindness (And I'm a little behind on this one.  I still need to write thank you notes for all the fabulous birthday gifts I received!), and one of the most important ones....RSVP!  When invited somewhere or to an event and the host or hostess asks for an RSVP, she's doing so for a reason.  She would like to know how many people to plan for to make sure she has enough food, places to sit, etc...  I try really hard to be mindful and respectful of RSVPs.

My husband is in the military and as part of that, I am a member of an organization called Officers Wives Club (OWC).  Many such organizations have become more PC in this day and age and are now called Officers Spouse Club but not the one I'm in.  It is steeped in tradition and still called the OWC.  Each month the members receive a monthly newsletter and in that newsletter is always a little blurb titled "Good Manners Are Always in Style!".  It talks about such things as RSVPing, bringing a gift to the host/hostess and that sort of thing.  But something it does not talk about or that my Mom did not teach me (not because she wouldn't have but because the technology was not available at the time), was cell phone/blue tooth phone etiquette.  But my mother did teach me COMMON COURTESY and I try to use that common courtesy towards and around others.  I have a blue tooth device for my cell phone.  It's not one that sticks in my ear but is a speaker that stays in the car because honestly isn't that the most important time for you to be "hands free" on your cell phone?  These people that walk around with their little blue tooth blinking in their ear drive me crazy.  I personally think it's ridiculous.  But even if you do, even if you are one of those people that are so important that you must be reached at all times and have your hands available too, please use common courtesy when using it.  When you are on a phone conversation with someone, don't try to conduct business with other people at  the same time.  How do you expect for the drive thru window person to get your order right if you are ordering from her and talking on your phone at the same time?  Don't demean me as a person and disrespect me and my time by talking on your phone when you are doing business with me.  I am a person and if you need something from me, then at least show me the courtesy of actually speaking to me while NOT on your phone.  If you are so important and that call is so important, then finish that conversation before dealing with me or tell that person to hold on just a second while you do something else.  But do not infer to me by continue to talk on your blue tooth that I am not worthy of your time or respect when you actually came to me for something.

Maybe our OWC newsletter needs to update it's Good Manners blurb and bring it to the 21st century.  Or maybe everyone just needs to start using some of the good manners and common courtesy that their mother taught them like mine did me.  Thanks Mom!

And if you ever see me being disrespectful of you or someone else, call me out on it because I don't want other people to think that they are not worthy of my time.


Stasi14 said...

Your Southern girl is showing! lol. You are so right. I have noticed that even a decade age difference matters with the cell phone etiquette. I would never answer my phone if it was a social call while having lunch with a friend,yet some of my younger friends take no issue with being on their phones while they are spending time with me. If you think it is about your child, then by all means, answer the call. If your husband is on satellite phone from Iraq, ok. If dad is having surgery, no doubt.Other than that...give me the attention I deserve as your friend.

Table manners start in the home. It is the old school teacher, which is a dying breed, that will correct a child's manner beyond please and thank you. "manners maketh man" William of Wykeham(1324-1404) and the motto of two Universities.It has sadly gone out of fashion.We can all be guilty of shooting milk out our noses, but the attempt should be made to be a lady or gentleman and lead by example with our children.

canscrap4u2 said...

yeah, take that!

Stacy said...

I agree. It's like a double standard. People (in general) tend to think of themselves to be way more important than any other person they're dealing with. So even if they're subscribe to the theory of 'Good Manners", they themselves don't think twice about actually following through on those. Common courtesy is fading very fast in this day and age. The cell phone etiquette is a big pet peeve of mine. How hard is it to say, 'let me call you back' or how about not conducting your business when you're in the checkout line at Walmart (or whatever other business you're at)? You're basically saying that the person who is ringing you up is NOT worth your time and day. Not to mention, I don't need to overhear how it took you 20 minutes to find the right hemorrhoid cream. It drives me crazy. It's called RESPECT. Do unto others as you would like done to know? That type of thing. Trust me, YOU are NOT that important. (And again, I'm referring to the general public 'you' and not a certain person. Just to make that clear, lol)

Dot said...

Well said, Jill. Your dad and I were leaving Bull Fish, a nice restaurant in the mountains last week and dad was helping me with my coat as we were leaving. A younger man walked up behind us and said "it is so nice to know that there are still some gentlemen left in the world". We thanked him and he went on but I was thinking what a nice person he was to even notice. Not enough of that in our world today! Manners are something that cannot be bought...and doesn't cost anything.
Just do it!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for stopping by! I'm following you back! :)